Billy Madison, the sequel?

Once a week, I go to library time for my son’s kindergarten class. The children like to take turns asking me to read a page from a book. This is a French school, so all the books are in French, and the best way to describe how I sound when I read in French is…hmmmm, how do you say…intéressante (interesting). As I read, the children watch me in amazement (or maybe shock and awe). Once I finish a page, these are some of the questions they have asked me in their sweet, little French voices:

-“Est-ce que vous parlez français?”
-“Do you speak French?”

-“Quel âge avez-vous?”
-“How old are you?”

One time when I finished a page, the little girl looked up at me with a sympathetic smile and I asked her:

-“C’est un peu bizarre quand je lis en français, oui?”
-“It’s a little bizarre when I read in French, yes?”

And bless her heart, she just raised her eyebrows and shook her head “no” but her face expression definitely said “yes.”

After I check out their books for them, I sit on the carpet with my son’s class while a book is read to us.

Afterwards, he loves for me to walk with him back to their classroom before I leave. So I get in single file line with the class. The school has these cute stickers on the ground for the kids to follow (see below), which of course he wants me to do with him. I do them (and I do them quite well). Sometimes I see older kids look at me in the hallways with that same sympathetic smile, and I point down at the stickers as if to say, “Look how good I am at these things.”

This entire experience makes me feel like Billy Madison, the title character in the classic 1995 comedy movie starring Adam Sandler. I think he should make a sequel where he goes back to school in French. I have lots of material.

On Friday, I go with my daughter’s class, which is scarier because they are first graders. One kid likes to repeat everything I say, which at first gave me a boost because it meant my French was good enough to have a copycat. But when I get annoyed with it, I just switch to English and he stops. Before the end of the year, I want to be brave and read a French book to them so that they can correct all my mispronunciations. See, Mr. Sandler? There’s a scene right there.